VI - The End

I had never realized that death is this close to me and because of that I’ve done nothing in my life to get joy from living. I always think that I can do something ,which is fun or thing that I’ve never done before,  at anytime I wanted to do because I was too sure that I’m going to live tomorrow, but now I don’t know what is really happened to me but I convinced myself that I’m a death person know. Then form a far away I saw a light and I think that it is the thing who is charge in here. Then suddenly an unknown force pushed me into that light and I gone into a different realm. I was in the place like forest after seeing this view I got relaxed a little bit because I understand that I’m not in hell or something like that there animals everywhere, birds are singing up in the trees and there is a waterfall noise in the background I felt relaxed and refreshed then that light come to me. It hold me with and we fly over the forest we went to some places which also like heaven. It showed me beautiful things happening around make me full with joy of living but if I am dead know filling with joy of living has no use and any sense anymore. I started to cry while touring with the light because I’ve done nothing in life I lived like a dead person then the light drop me when we are flying  I don’t understand what is happening first but then I started to fall down to the ground I got scared from this but then I realized that what could happen to a dead person after fall from a place which is very high, nothing but I’m new to this place and I don’t know the rules in here so I scared, then I hit to ground. I can’t see anything my vision is blur first but then I slowly started to see that there is a light above me it said “This is your last chance, use it well” and turned into a hospital light. Then I saw the nurse which noticed that I’m awake and run to aware the doctor. Doctor came to the room that I’m staying and check some things around me controlled my blood pressure and inject something to me with needle. After few days in the hospital I got to myself and get out from that boring place and I started to live everyday like my last day.

V

Sometimes you can’t make two things at the same time and analysing something and ascend a stair is one of the things that you can’t do at the same time. I hitched one of the stairs and hit my head to wall and started to roll to downstairs. I hit to the wall at the end of the stairs, I can’t get up from the floor then I noticed that black marble is amazingly still in my hand. I was nearly going to die because of this marble so I tried to throw it away but I couldn’t it stick into my hand. Then suddenly my hand got heavy and hit to the wall and this black marble started to dissolve in my hand and my skin started to turn into black I couldn’t move the black parts of my body, they’re like stone. Black parts of my skin are rough and heavy but other parts are still made of flesh and that black parts continued to emanate to my body. I nearly turned into a statue but still I can control my head. Then the light above me started to increase its light and suddenly it become powerful as the flash of the camera. I can’t see anything because of that powerful light then I felt like I was falling down from somewhere which has no ending. I was scared too much so I started to pray because in a situation like this begging to God for a help is the best thing you can do. That falling feeling stopped suddenly and that powerful light vanished but now I can’t see because everywhere is dark as hell after thinking that I said to myself maybe I’m in the hell couldn’t I. I fell down from stairs I hit my head to wall this things are enough to kill a man and I’ve done nothing in my life to earn an unlimited vacation in heaven.

IV

That thing attracted my attention and I walked right near to that thing. I crouched and take it out from under of the leaves. It was black but shiny thing and it has to be a marble or something like a rock which is shaped like this by the help of Mother Nature. I put this black marble into my pocket and started to climb the hill that I fall. I listened the birds for a while then I went to my car. I started the engine and head to home. I parked my car into parking slot and then called elevator. After I opened the door of the house I went to bedroom to change my clothes. After wearing something comfortable I went to sitting room and opened the TV and lay down on the sofa and started to watch facetious programs. Then I had a nap for few hours in front of TV. When I woke up outside was turned into dark so I wear something on me and went to the bar. I entered the bar and take a sit from a place which is close to bar then I ordered whiskey like always. I don’t look at my watch, I don’t care what time it is because I don’t have nothing to do tomorrow so I can wake up whenever I want. After drinking for few hours I got drunk a little so I decided to go home. When walking to home I don’t know why but I just want to put my hands in my pockets and in that moment I felt the marble. I took it out from pocket and started to analyse it. It is a very attractive thing I don’t know what it is made of, or what is the market price of it but it attracts me like something that I paid too much to get it.

III

After wasting some time in front of TV I got bored and go to my bedroom and wear my casual outfit. I took my wallet, cell phone and the key of the car and get out from the house and lock the door actually I don’t need to lock the door, because even the burglar couldn’t find something worth to stole. I went to my car, opened the doors of it and run the engine then I started to tour in the streets. I looked at the people which is walking on the street, they are looking like a bunch of animals which don’t know what are they doing, they’re looking like bunch of animal which is acting as the way their instinct told them to act. They always run to somewhere and trying to earn more and more with insatiable appetite. This looks very funny and childish to someone who is looking from outside. I continued to tour around the city and I decided to go to a park. I went to park in the city very long time ago I can’t remember the exact date, but today there is voice inside of me telling me that I need to go to the park. I left my car in the parking space which right behind of the park and I started to walk to the park. I entered to park and sit on the bench and started to listen birds I don’t know why did I come to the park or why I wanted to come, but now I am just happy and glad with myself  because of the choice that I give. Then I get up from the bench and started to walk on the grass, and then suddenly I hitched to something and started to trundle down to hill and get into trees in the end of the this little hill. I can’t get up for few minutes and my head is hurting and there are some scratches around my shoulder and some parts of my clothes are tear apart. Then I laughed to myself a little bit and get up from the ground. Then something shined from the ground it is something like a marble.

II

I woke up at 8 am. I scared for a moment because if it is 8 o’clock this means I am going to get late to job but then I realized that I don’t have a job today and relaxed and put my head to the pillow again. I don’t want to get out of this warm bed, I don’t know but in the mornings this old bed of mine turns into a charming creature. It holds you and obstructs you to get out of from it. After sleeping for two more hours I jumped out of my bed and went to the bathroom. I washed my face with the cold water and look at myself in the mirror I was looking very pale and I have purple pockets right under my eyes, white part of my eyes turned into yellow and there are some red roads inside that yellow ground. After losing some morale because of the mirror I opened the hot water and take a shower. After shaving and all of that stuff I went to the kitchen and took some eggs from the fridge and started to make omelette. I don’t know why but cooking always makes me relax especially cooking in mornings. I took omelette from the pan and put it into plate and head to the sitting room I turned on the TV and started to eat my omelette while watching news. Even in the morning TV news shows disgusting and bad things as a news and I always think that this causes people to not watch news and make them watch magazine and reality shows and I can’t say that they’re not right because no one wants to learn bad things in the morning. I can’t keep watching this news too and started to change channels until I find something which worth to watch.

I -1

I was drinking at my usual bar which is very close to my home. Every night after job I come to this bar and have some whiskey until I get mellow. People around me think that I’m an alcoholic but I know that I am not, because I can stop drinking at any time I wanted to stop, but I just don’t want to stop because drinking some whiskey is the most enjoyable thing in my boring life. This thing like apple juice fulfils me with joy of living. I know that this thing is damaging some of my organs and killing me slowly, but even the thing called time making us the same damage its killing us slowly too so why should I scare from dying and stop having fun every night. Also this bar helps me to find new friends and teaches me different types of personalities and shows me different kind of people. While I’m drinking my whiskey in the bar I usually have conversation with the guys inside the bar or hang to women’s but this happens very rare because usually you can’t find a woman in the bar so when I confronted with a situation like that I would not miss my chance and hang to that lady until I get a slap from her and I usually get a slap and sometimes it turns to fist, actually reactions of women changes with the alcohol dose in my blood. After getting little bit drunk I leave the bar and started to take the way to home. After I entered to home and changed my clothes -sometimes I can’t even do that changing- and I get into the bed to charge my battery. This is my life actually I done all of this program every day so I can know what I’m going to do after 5 or 6 years because nothing happens other than these things to me. I am living such a wonderful life actually because what kind of lucky person could know what is he going to the after 5 or 6 years! No one! No one other than me.